I think influencing would have been my biggest parenting regret.

& more reflections on quitting the gig of content creation

Hi…remember me? I have a lot to update you on, but this week I felt compelled to start with what’s been on my mind after retiring from influencing after eight (!!!) years.

This January, I didn’t post. I had no collaborations. I received no credible inquiries, no dopamine-inducing likes & comments, and worst of all—no e-credits (goodbye, goodbye, goodbye to the hundreds of dollars a month to spend on whatever I wanted…).

It was a hard month for a whole bag of reasons, but I felt freer than I have in years. I still worked my freelance gig, but the hours were contained and manageable—nothing like the “flexibility” and “freedom” content creating once promised.

Quick disclaimer: The wonderfully offline among you must be exhausted by influencers talking about how much they hate influencing. But we are addicted to influencing, and then, if we quit, we are addicted to talking about it. I promise I’ll stop soon. :)

I think continuing as an influencer would have been my biggest parenting regret.

This thought has haunted me for the past few months, and it’s something I feel conflicted sharing because at one point this job transformed our lives. I absolutely believe God used that season to stabilize us financially. We now have lots of time together as a family, no debt, and even margin—eight years ago, we were absolutely not on track for any of those things.

I absolutely love marketing—I have my own freelance business—and I still cringe a little when my favorite pastors reference social media and our addiction to overconsumption because my brain is wired to strategize and optimize. For me, the work is surrendering outcomes and discerning how to do it honorably, knowing that my personal formation is more valuable than any amount of money or success. My brain may love marketing, but my soul is exhausted.

A job is just a job—my Instagram was like another baby.

Even when the baby is sleeping, I’m thinking about him! But I don’t want to think about myself that much anymore. I don’t want to be the star of my family photos. I don’t want to be shopping for my son and considering which item will get more clicks. I don’t want to invent recipes for “content” when I’d rather cook the same meal in an ugly pot without a tripod in my face. I don’t want to snap a picture every time we go to the park, just in case I “need” it. I don’t want to process everything happening in the world for strangers when my priority is to be patient, non-anxious, and available to my family.

Before being a mother, I wasn’t ready to admit my limitations. I attack problems with 30,000 pound solutions. Nothing is impossible when you’re willing to run into the same wall again and again—but a day into motherhood, it was clear that approach was not going to work.

It’s humbling how much time and mental clarity I instantly got back.

If I were still influencing, my days would look very different. Time I now spend lazily on the floor with my son in my (unattractive) pj’s would be spent staging content. I’d be brainstorming Reels while reading him books. I wouldn’t be able to compartmentalize work like I easily do with my freelancing gig.

It’s unsettling to know you’re living in possibly the most precious days of your life. My family, my community, our stability—it’s a gift that I haven’t always had and absolutely cherish daily. Knowing that it won’t last forever makes me want to cut out everything non-essential, even if that means missing out on amazing “opportunities.”

When I gave my energy to my family first, I found that there wasn’t any left for social media.

I finally accepted that no amount of money is worth the time, clutter, and emotional exhaustion of my job relying on my privacy, personality, and constant creativity.

Will I ever come back? Crazier things have happened! But I am ready to close this eight-year chapter for the foreseeable future. Not because influencing is shameful or incompatible with motherhood, but because I personally can’t sustain it and I know I don’t need it. What I really need is less noise and ambition, fewer voices and distractions. I can Brick my phone, but I can’t Brick my brain!

Now what of Mother Memos?

Well, I have plenty to say about life lately, and none of it has to do with life-changing products or how-to’s. Just little ole me navigating motherhood and life with Jesus.

If you enjoyed this, you might like How I Accidentally Became an Influencer & Why I Quit the Job Everyone Apparently Wants. And if you’re ready for me to stop talking about this, I think I’ve hit my quota for a while.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and don’t be afraid to quit a good thing that’s no longer good for you!